Triangle F.C. School of Soccer
It's just like watching Brazil
JOKES
Definition of a good referee
1) Must be fair
2) Must be consistent
3) Must make correct judgements
4) Must be able to stay in control
5) Must award your team at least two penalties and give out two red cards to opposition players
Offside definition
Definition 1 : The Bermuda Triangle area of the pitch where "innocent" players are drawn towards.
Definition 2 : The offside rule is there to attract to football those people who can already explain how to play cricket
Definition 3 : A player is offside if they are nearer to the opponent's goal line than both the ball and the second last player - except on alternate Saturdays when in addition the second last player must be facing in the opposite goals direction in which the ball is directed.
A player is not offside if they are in their own half of the field, or they are level with the second last opponent, or the player, opponent and referee form a triangle as perceived by an imaginary linesmen positioned on the Celestial Meridian.
All offside regulations are immediately found to be in favour of the defending team if shortly after the ball is played they all stop, in unison, and raise their right arm to the linesman and appeal for an offside decision.
Our keepers not bad but... I'm not saying our goalkeeper is rubbish but... 1) He suffers from repetitive strain injury in his back from continually having to bend over and pick the ball out of the back of the net 2) He is the hero of the other teams supporters club 3) He once saved a penatly and 8 fans we're taking to hospital suffering from shock |
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